Storytime Improprieties

On the way out of toddler storytime, most of the grown-ups (who are mostly moms, but there are exceptions, including some nannies, so grown-ups is what I go with) will have their child attempt to say good-bye and thank you. This is fine. It garners me hugs, gives me a chance to have one-on-one time with some of the less forward kids, and shows that I know their names (or helps me learn them). And generally, we all understand each other's boundaries.

This week, though, a mom asked her child to tell me he loves me. Parents who read my blog (or if we're being frank here, parent who reads my blog): please, please don't ever try to force your child to tell the librarian, or any other provider of childcare/entertainment, 'I love you'. It's one thing when your child says it on his/her own. Kids don't know what it means, and in their innocent ways, they probably do love me, much as they love the ice cream man, Dora the Explorer, and anyone else who never tells them no. Grown-ups do know what love is. I think I can speak for the profession here when I say we do not want to sit with your child and say that while we really, really like him, and we think things are going great between us, we just don't think we're ready for love. It's not him, it's us. No, actually, it's you, weirdo mommy.

While I don't love that child in particular, I do love storytime. I love the children as a collective whole. So I'm sad that next week is our last week before storytime break. When storytime goes away, so does my job satisfaction. And it doesn't pick back up again until late January. Blech.

On a different note, you know those inflatable lawn ornaments that are lightweight fabric with a fan blowing them into the shape of a holiday symbol such as Santa or the Easter Bunny, or a Hanukkah bear? The husband and I have a theory about them. (In all honesty, it was his theory but one of the benefits of marriage is that what's his is mine, intellectual property laws be damned.) The theory is that these were cooked up by the energy companies, who realized that leaving extra lights on all night wasn't driving electricity bills up anywhere near high enough. So they found a way for people to run a small motor day in, day out, thus showing their holiday spirit while making the earth die just a little more quickly. Is that grinchy? Maybe so, but a co-worker told me that she's heard of children being traumatized when their parents turned the thing off because they think that Mommy and Daddy killed Santa (or the Easter Bunny or the Hanukkah bear). And you can't tell me that even if the energy companies didn't come up with that, their CEOs aren't at least a little bit happy that that happened. So grinch that, bitches. Also, a Hanukkah bear? What the hell, people? The husband said it's a gray area of Talmudic law, but I think it's probably pretty sacrilegious to put a yarmulke on a bear.